MARITAL HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON COUPLE
By Brigadier Chitranjan Sawant,VSM
The Vedic Vivah or taking marriage vows as per the Vedas, most ancient scripture in the library of Mankind, lays the foundation of a happy married life. The bride and the groom take SEVEN steps together and take a vow with each step. The seventh and the last step vow is: Now after taking nuptial vows WE ARE FRIENDS. SAKHA is the word in Sanskrit language. Friendship is between the equals and when the husband and wife treat each other as Equals, they will never denigrate each other.
When LOVE between the husband and wife recedes or takes a back seat in life, it is time for the THIRD PERSON; male or female to enter into the life of the wedded couple. That indeed is the beginning of the end of a happy married life. The mistress gains ground day by day in the husband’s love life. Or the wife's young lover becomes supreme in the life of the woman. However, it is essential that the THIRD PERSON must be banished as early as possible lest the marriage is on the rocks.
SCHOOL FOR WIFE
When I mentioned to my wife that in China new and expensive schools have been opened to train wives on” How to WIN HUSBAND BACK from the Mistress, oh! she lamented and opined; why not train Husbands how to keep the flame of Love alive in the wife. A husband needs training too. I think my wife has a point. A happy married life is lived by the couple, not by wife alone. Remember the VEDIC vow: we are FRIENDS or Sakha.
Let the new enterpreneurs in China open training schools for husbands on HOW TO WIN WIFE BACK. The booming economy of China has put a lot of money into the hands of male entrepreneurs and among other hobbies and recreations that they pursue, having a mistress is becoming more popuar than what society can digest. It is a scandal that has REACHED A POINT BEYOND WHICH THE MARRIAGE BASED SOCIAL STRUCTURE CANNOT TAKE. The sociologists are keen on finding a solution within the present set up of the social order. It is, however, defying solutions at this point of time.
It is the legacy of Chinese Emperors to have many pretty women in their Harem in the forbidden city. The male population of China that has become very rich with the economic boom now wish to have a Mistress in every city that they visit in connection with business. May I remind Males with Mistresses that history is also full of true stories of Empresses or Dowager Empresses who kept a Male Harem to pick and choose the man to sleep with. And the choice invariably fell on a new fellow to make the dowager empress happy and satisfied in bed. A failure to achieve the desired result cost the unfortunate male his head. The same situation may arise again. History repeats itself.
SEX IN MARRIAGE
It is a matter of human nature that Sex is important in life. In the marital life Sex is more important. Some psychologists believe that marriages are made or unmade in bed. In other words, the husband and wife must keep each other sexually satisfied and happy. Let no partner ignore the other partner.
Companionship heightens Love and Love demands togetherness. When the couple are together, they are bound to sleep in the same bed. Sex is a natural corollary thereafter.
If the husband and wife look after each other and take care of needs mutually the marital life will succeed. Mistress will have no place in the life of a happy couple.
SCRIPTURES ON MARITAL SEX
One may be wondering how deep will the religious injunctions penetrate in marital sex? Well, to fathom the depth, please dive deep and all pearls will be yours. Pearls of Wisdom are there for one who cares to see and find. Let me quote an example from the Satyarth Prakash, the Magnum Opus of the great and renowned socio-religious reformer of the 19th century India. He was so much concerned about the heath, happiness and moral conduct of his countrymen that he devoted all his time and energy to the cause of the country and countrymen and even staked his life for it. Swami Dayanand Saraswati wished the Aryas(Noble men and women) to rise and grow in numbers, in health and in happiness that he prescribed the right way and method of having SAMBHOG or marital sex If the male died and the family wished to have an heir, the Swami recommended the Vedic way to go about it, NIYOG. A good male with intelligence, knowledge and prowess was chosen to have a go at it with the consent of the widow and procreate successfully. This was for the Nation too, without malice or sexual pleasure for the sake of sex. Indeed the Niyog was not popular and invited criticism too. However, the same aim is achieved by many in the society, albeit surreptitiously.
The noble aim of Swami Dayanand Saraswati in writing in depth on the art of copulation in the Satyarth Prakash was to wean away the youth, both boys and girls, from the influence of cheap, dirty and erroneous booklets on sex and lead them to the right path of procreation in a healthy environment. Sex is an important aspect of human life. However, thinking human beings sublimate it and rise above the animal passion and channelize it towards the right goal: to beget a son or a daughter. The great Reformer and inspirer of the Vedic Renaissance was very concerned about the quality of our future generations. He advised the husband and wife to have sex in a manner that the semen of Brahmacharya should be utilised to beget a child and must not be allowed to go waste. A child thus born will be asset to the family and to the Nation.”They (husband and wife) should never waste their reproductive elements perfected and preserved by the practice of Brahmcharya because the children born of the union of such reproductive elements are of a very superior order.”
As discussed heretofore the happiness in marital life depends on the physical, mental and spiritual compatibility of the husband and wife both. The aim of begetting good and smart children cements the marital bond and never lets the couple separate or fall asunder. That is what a Vedic Vivah is all about. Let me wish the bride and the groom health and happiness in their marital life. AUM
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