Wednesday, February 10, 2010


By Chitranjan Sawant
Losing interest in sex is not uncommon among the middle aged men and women. And yet healthy couples are concerned that they are losing interest in sex. Sex has been so much around human beings right from childhood, through adolescence to youth and manhood or womanhood that a healthy human being does not want to lose it. Loss of interest in sex by either partner at a time when one should be sexually active is mourned like the loss of a loved one. Sex indeed is more than a loved one. It is an inseparable part of your body, mind and soul.
An inquisitive child of five asked his father how he was born. The father did not wish to initiate him into niceties of sex so early and took recourse to the traditional "stork brought you home" story. The child persisted and asked about the mode of birth of his father and grandfather and on hearing a repeat of the stork story quipped "Father, dear father! do you mean to say that there has been no sexual birth in this family for three generations?". The child knew all about what the birds and bees do and just wished to have a confirmation from his father. He was so fond of his parents that he would slip into their bed unannounced at midnight and at times cause disruption while a sexual act was just developing.
Indeed kids do intrude into parental domain and cause a minor disruption in the land of the libido. So, children should be given an opportunity to tire themselves physically and mentally at play so that they have a sound sleep the moment they hit their own beds and do not make forays into parental bedroom. This freedom from intrusion into bedroom will help the middle-aged couple develop desire in the land of the libido and finally have full satisfaction in sex in own bed.
Right from day one when marriage is consummated to the time when menopause sets in, women experience that elusive bliss called Orgasm lesser number of times than is desirable. The male partner does ejaculate every time he copulates but it may be or may not be Orgasm. For him an ejaculation after sex is more like a sleeping pill than what his female partner wishes it to be. Possibly this is one of the reasons that the female partner is not ever ready to have sex when there is nothing else to do. The female, more often than not, takes it as an exercise in futility while the male partner uses it as a sleeping pill. Thus the couple is bereft of bliss of sex and the land of the libido gradually turns into a desert.
One lives and learns. Not experiencing Orgasm over a long period may give rise to Depression in life and may cause a total lack of interest in life itself. There cannot be two opinions that this is a dangerous development. It must be nipped in the bud.
It is the same husband, it is the same wife, it is the same bedroom and it is the same bed and the timing of copulation is just about the same. It is like that day in and day out. Repetitive actions induce monotony and sleep. Monotony is a declared enemy of generating active interest in life.If there is no interest in the proceedings of the day or night, how can there be an active interest in sexual intercourse? It will just be a drab and monotonous activity that the couple is going through just for the heck of it. They have sex because they have nothing better to do. Indeed this kind of life in bed will soon be as dry as dust. The sexual act has to be juicy physically and mentally. The sexual organs should secrete, the body should encourage the relevant parts involved in sex to secrete juices and the mind should enjoy it. This juicy experience will keep monotony at bay. This experience can be had if the couple changes the style but not the spouse.
It has been mentioned that repetitive action is to be avoided. Likewise, repetitive conversation should also be avoided. In any case, while having sex with wife, a husband must not narrate with interest his sexual experiences with other women in the past. This kind of talk is the greatest killer of sexual desire in the female partner presently in bed and must be banished from the land of the libido.No man and no woman wishes that another lover's sexual escapades be mentioned while the present lovers are making an endeavour to reach the climax in sex.
A good exercise in the evening followed by a hot water bath and a light but nutritive dinner a couple of hours before retiring to bed indeed help in putting the couple in the right mood to coupulate. To derive the maximum pleasure from sex, the stomach should neither be full nor empty. Just enough food in the digestive system to keep the blood sugar at the right level so that interest in activity is not only generated but also kept alive and active to reach the point of climax eventually.
The Vedic injunction is for both husband and wife to have a good sexual intercourse with the pious intention of promoting procreation , that is giving birth to a son or a daughter. If one has the means to feed, clothe and educate more than two or three children, the Vedic Dharm puts no restriction on the number. It is up to parents to decide on the number of children they wish to have. The husband and wife continue loving each other for longer duration if they spend more time together chatting, comparing notes and planning future of progeny. More time together also arouses sexual interest in each other and encourages them to have sex. Thus they know the way to love both in bed and out of bed and do not have to consult a doctor or a sexologist. Life proceeds forward amicably and sex continues to be the cementing factor. Land of Libido will ever be fertile and green and there will never be a danger of it turning into a desert.
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